the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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