Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
