Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
