Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
