I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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