Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
