lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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