So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Randomize
