I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
