they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
it glows. i had to have it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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