He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
