That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
