She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we're making bets on your personal life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
