Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
