think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
