come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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