Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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