I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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