I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
