Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A+ Viking dick
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
