I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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