i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
