No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
