Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm getting married
To pizza
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
