This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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