to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
