Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
