no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
