she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
