hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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