I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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