Christians are straight up FREAKS
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
