is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
