I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The power of my boobs compel you
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
