well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
