Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
