Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
