Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
