you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
