I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
