After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
