Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
