Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
