You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I want her autograph on my taint
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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