Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
