Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
