he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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