im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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