Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
