dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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