So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
